who convinced you that you needed to be this hard on yourself?
treat yourself with gentleness, lovely, even when you feel like your life is one big mess after another.
you're trying your very best & you deserve all the credit for that.
she spent so long thinking she doesn't deserve good things that whenever something oh-so-wonderful happens to her, she still waits for someone to come breezing in to tell her there's been some kind of mistake as they snatch it away.
--she's working on it, okay?
*****
you will
come across people
who simply cannot wait
to watch you fail.
there will be many times
in which you
will fail
(miserably),
but your failures
are just what happened--
they don't have to be
who you are.
all you can do is
take those mistakes
& use them as fertilizer
to help you grow.
you have to
keep moving forward
no matter what
their voices say.
- this life is still
worth living.
*****
be a
mermaid.
be a mermaid
who doesn't settle
for making a
small splash.
be a
mermaid
who doesn't
stop until she makes
tidal waves.
be a
mermaid
who knows to
stop before
she devastates
the world with her
tsunamis.
- don't allow the world
to take your kindness.
*****
just because
they don't
hit you
doesn't mean it
isn't
abuse.
wouldn't you
think it
a crime
to look up
at
the night sky
& tell
the stars
that they have
no sparkle?
guess what?
you shine
brighter
than all the
starlight
there has
ever been
or ever
will be.
- emotional abuse
is still abuse.
not everything has to be done with a sense of urgency & quickness. the hourglass is not running out, so you need not act as though it is. take long, intentional sips of your coffee. take small, intentional bites of your dinner. whatever you do, don't judge yourself for taking all the time you need before moving onto the next thing. everything in your day—no matter how seemingly inconsequential—deserves to have its own moment, even if it's just a few seconds to gather your thoughts before you speak, for a girl saying the right words at the exact right time could very well change lives.
*****
you're right--
you tried
& you tried
& you tried
& then you tried
some more,
but maybe
they just don't
have it in them
to love you
after all.
now I ask you:
so fucking what?
- the only love you need
is your own.
*****
canceled plans
make her sigh in relief.
- now she won't have
to fake it.
*****
as painful as it may be,
it is always easier to
walk away from the villain
than it is to try to
convince them of their villainy.
- a hard pill to swallow.
*****
whenever somebody asks her how she's been holding up, she can never bring herself to tell them how she's truly feeling inside. it's always fine or great or amazing, but how are you? the last thing she would ever want to do is inconvenience them--or worse, seem self-involved.
-she just wants one person to
catch her in the lie.
*****
fairy godmother says
speak your truth--
no matter what.
afterward,
take careful note
of who not only
listens
but steps up to
applaud your bravery.
*****
fairy godmother says
people have a habit of
telling on themselves;
most of the time,
by accident.
you'll see it in
one wrong word,
or how they react when
they think no one's looking.
don't ever take it
lightheartedly,
for there is always some
truth in these moments.
be sure to armor your
kind, kind heart.
be trusting,
but be vigilant.
oh, how she wishes she had someone who understands exactly what she's going through.
oh, how she wishes she had a mother she could confide in—
to offer her some sage advice, to be her guide as she tries to navigate these confusing woods.
i see you doing incredible things.
i see you managing to take care of yourself & everyone else,
even when no one says "thank you," even when you're beyond exhausted.
i see all of it.
i'm endlessly in awe of you.
*****
fairy godmother says
if they make it easy
to lie about them to
everyone around you,
then that means
something is
very, very wrong.
don't ignore red flags--
they're the universe's way
of protecting you.
*****
when they tell me that i've changed, like it's some personal act of betrayal on my part, i tell them, "i know. i've never been more proud of myself. i went from a single wildflower to a whole fucking meadow."
*****
everyone in your life
should be a source of joy:
family, friends, partners--
every single person.
if you always have to
worry about them,
then it's past time to
create some boundaries.
sometimes that will mean
getting out the scissors &
cutting the very strings
that connect you.
*****
you're allowed to hold your family at arm's length. family can be toxic. family can be abusive. family can belittle you, invalidate you, or make you feel unsafe. you don't need to explain yourself to anyone who disagrees.
- do what you have to do.
*****
you are never directionless.
- the universe is always guiding you.